The secret to surviving "the extremes"

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Marriage is tough.

It’s the extremes that make it so.

Tracy’s seen me at my most angry, my most depressed, and my most defeated.

She’s seen me full of confidence and joy, without a worry in the world.

I’ve woken to her staring at me like I’m the only person left on earth, like I’m here just for her, to keep her from feeling lonely, to keep her safe and smiling.

She’s looked at me like I’m the worst person ever born, like I’m here to piss her off, get in her way, make her feel dumb and shameful.

We’ve seen each other grow into our sales careers, conquering impossible quotas, leading underprepared teams, and selling faulty products.

We’ve also seen each other struggle to get out of bed, order food delivery three times in the same day, and waste hours debating what to wear.

It’s impossible to ready yourself for all those sides of a person.

You will judge him.

You will fear her.

You will resent each other.

And when it gets real bad, you might even think about quitting.

But quitting doesn’t make it better. Only giving does that.

Give when you’re uncertain.

Give when you’re scared.

Give when you’re “right” and she’s “wrong”.

My third wedding anniversary just passed. We’ve been together eight years.

At dinner, we asked each other what we’d learned.

Tracy said, “patience and compromise”.

I said, “to do the little things”.

Both are what we give.

Because we’ve learned giving makes the extremes less intense, less of a burden.

Giving makes the extremes beautiful.

It makes the extremes the best part.

Remember,

When we embrace practice, develop awareness, and align our efforts, we can rise above the deal.

We can live #quotaless.